Florida Keys

On the map, the Florida Keys, and Key West, look pretty close to Tampa. Actually driving there is another matter. It’s a full day, even non-stop you are looking at about seven hours. On the plus side, three of those hours run over bridges between the small islands of the Keys with beautiful ocean views.

Screwing Around with Old People

Sometimes I think 32 is old. I think that when I’m wondering why my life seems to be flowing along without any pressure to get married or have kids or take on some type of career. But when I’m hanging out with the wrinkled snowbirds here in Florida, I think 32 is really young.

It’s not like the crowd down here is at death’s door or anything. Far from it. But 60+ seems old to me. And they look at me as if I were some ambassador from a generation they do not understand. I am called upon to explain some of the strangest things, and frankly, as often as not, I just make things up to screw with their heads.

Bingo Nation

I looked it up. Florida has at least 200 places where you can play bingo. Although State law requires that only a non-profit or charitable game, there are ways around this and exceptions. One huge exception is the Indian-run casinos.

Most of the games are held as true charity events at a church or a lodge of some sort and would be considered “fun” games. Then there are the halls, which rent space to churches, veteran’s groups and other charities. They run the games and take rent, but aren’t allowed to actually make money on the bingo itself. The law is fairly strict about this and there have been some prosecutions for permanent bingo halls who ripped off the charities under whose name they were operating.

Pulling Up Stakes

The whole point of Florida in the winter is warmth. I might have mentioned that. Looking at the national weather map, this is the warmest part of the country and I’m still wearing a windbreaker during the day. Time to pull up stakes and head even further south.

RV Florida

Well, I survived Christmas and no damage done.

It’s hard to capture the weirdness someone who lived in the snow belt feels when they “do Christmas” in a sunny, warm climate. The best way to describe it is with a picture:

The Florida Snowbirds

Technically, a snowbird is someone who overwinters in Florida to escape their home state’s weather. They usually have a second home or at least a semi-permanent mobile home in a park. I’m hanging with another type of snowbird — the RV crowd.

Lot Lizard Myths

If you haven’t heard the expression, “lot lizard”, it means a prostitute who hangs out at a truck stop and shills for business by going from truck to truck.They are also called “sleeper leapers” or just “hookers”.

Camper Mania

I’ve been on the road for a week, and it’s time for an update.

Here’s what I ended up buying: A “Scamper” 16ft camper trailer. All fiberglass, towing weight 1,700lbs. This is what it looks like: